If you like rants and other cool, froody stuff, you really should check out the archives of the Cult of the Dead Cow. If you are wondering who "Jai" is, here is some more information about this person.
NOTE: The actual message to Jai had the following preamble, and I've finally managed to locate the original message on Google. By the way, the CDC-formatted version of the "Fukn Quadr0-P0under" was found here.
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Drunkfux) Subject: Re: ANTI BEEF (Maharaj can kiss my meat eating ass) Organization: MEAT EATING, EARTH KILLING, PUNK R0CK M0THER FUKERZ Lines: 76 > * Meat-eaters have higher blood pressure, are more >hypertensive and violent. Public funds are used for research and >treatment. Everyone is forced to pay the price of violence and >crime. Meat-eaters hurt themselves, their families and others. > > Meat-eaters hurt everyone. > Meat-eaters hurt everyone. > Meat-eaters hurt everyone. AND WE'RE DAMN PROUD OF IT T00, Y0U ST00PID FR00T L00P. continued below...
_ | \ | \ | | \ __ | |\ \ __ _____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________ | ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ | | | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | | | | /________/ | | / / /________/ | | | | | | / / | | | | | |/ / | | | | | | / | | | | | / | | | | |_/ | | | | | | | | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | | | |________________________________________________________________| | |____________________________________________________________________| ...presents... Quadro-Pounder by Drunkfux 01/01/1997-#329 __//////\ -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- /\\\\\\__ Est. 1984 \\\\\\/ xXx BOW to the COW xXx \////// Est. 1984 __ _ _ __ _ _ __ _ _ __ _ _ __ |__heal_the_sick__raise_the_dead__cleanse_the_lepers__cast_out_demons__| As I pulled up to the McDonald's drive-thru and gazed at the death- infested menu which was so obviously responsible for breast cancer, arthritis, Erik Estrada, racism, and every tragedy in the last 9,000,000 years, I had a change of heart. Instead of my usual "Can I have a #3 combo with a Coke, please?" I shouted, "Y0 B1TCH! I WANT A FUKN QUADRO-P0UNDER W1TH N0 FUKN VEGETABULZ 0R SH1T THAT GR0WZ 0N TREEZ!" "Ok sir, you wanted a Quarter Pounder, just plain, is that correct?" "N0 B1TCH! I ZED I WANTED A FUKN QUADR0-P0UNDER! GET IT R1TE 0R DIE!" I hear quiet laughter through the speaker. "A what pounder?!" "A FUKN QUADR0-P0UNDER!" "Uh... I don't think we have that. Are you sure you don't mean a Quarter Pounder?" "N0 I D0N'T MEEN A FUKN MEEZLY AZZ QUARTUR P0UNDER! HERE'Z WHAT I WANT, 2 FUKN D0UBLE QUARTER P0UNDERZ PUT T0GETHER 2 MAKE 1 QUADR0-P0UNDER!" "Ooohhh... you want *2* Double Quarter Pounders then?" "N0 B1TCH! I WANT 1 FUKN QUADR0-P0UNDER! TAKE THE 2 D0UBLEZ, PUT THEM T0GETHUR AND GIV ME 1 QUADR0! U G0T IT YET BRAINIAK?" An employee peeks out from the back entrance. "Oh! Ok... I think we can do that. Would you like cheese on that?" "FUK N0 B1TCH! I WANT 4 H0T SLABZ 0F C0W DETH 0N A BUN WITH N0 FUKING HIPPIE AZZ VEGETABULZ! I ALZ0 D0NT WANT ANY FUKING LAME VEGAN FRIEZ 0R ANY TYPE 0F RECYKULD PAKAGING. N0 KUP, N0 BAG, N0 WRAPPERZ... PUT THE SHIT 0N THE WIND0W K0UNTER THING AND I WILL TAKE IT!" "Uh...." "FUK IT & GIMME THAT WHICH IZ THE S0URCE 0F ALL EVIL... N0W!" "Thank you. Please drive to the second window." For the record, I got my fucking Quadro-Pounder and it r0cked. I am faxing McDonald's tomorrow and demanding that this awesome item be permanently added to every McDonald's menu around the world. DETH IZ IMMINENT. THE EARTH MUZT DIE. GIVE US WHAT WE WANT 0R BE PREPARED T0 FACE THE WRATH. .-. _ _ .-. / \ .-. ((___)) .-. / \ /.ooM \ / \ .-. [ x x ] .-. / \ /.ooM \ -/-------\-------/-----\-----/---\--\ /--/---\-----/-----\-------/-------\- /lucky 13\ / \ / `-(' ')-' \ / \ /lucky 13\ \ / `-' (U) `-' \ / `-' the original e-zine `-' _ Oooo eastside-westside / ) __ /)(\ ( \ WORLDWIDE / ( / \ \__/ ) / Copyright (c) 1997 cDc communications and the author. \ ) \)(/ (_/ Award-winning CULT OF THE DEAD COW is a trademark of oooO cDc communications, PO Box 53011, Lubbock, TX, 79453, USA. _ oooO All rights reserved. Edited by Swamp Ratte'. __ ( \ / ) /)(\ / \ ) \ \ ( \__/ Save yourself! Go outside! Do something! \)(/ ( / \_) "THE COW WALKS AMONGST US" Oooo
--Erik Rossen <email@example.com>
Copyright © 2000 until the heat-death of the Universe (thanks, Mickey!), by Erik Rossen
Last modified: 2008-10-06T09:02:35+0200
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